Facebook world… I am going through a tough time right now. I am not always wanting to share what is going on, but SOMETIMES i post a status message that isn’t my normal one… sometimes I may just post something a little cryptic and not really explaining, and SOMETIMES that is all i want to do. I’m not asking for attention, I got shit in my life that I don’t feel like sharing with everyone, but when I feel DOWN, sometimes posting a stupid little message on my facebook is the silent SCREAM to express that I am struggling/scared/worried/hurting… and it’s TOTALLY my right to do so…
It was brought to my attention today that that someone may feel that it is a form of manipulation…. IF you feel manipulated by my status updates, if you feel somehow OBLIGATED to message me, by all means… for the love of all that walks the planet… BLOCK ME… I don’t expect everyone and anyone to respond.. I don’t expect the world to stop spinning because I’m having a shit time… this stuff happens. My facebook is about me… it’s FOR me, it’s MINE. the name on this account isn’t “friends of wanda” or “people who have a say in wanda’s life” it is WANDAFUL that’s ME. I use facebook for games, for keeping up with the people that I know, and as an existance for me to while away the hours when I am alone.
If you want to know what is going on in my life, ask, i may… or may not answer, depending ENTIRELY upon how I am feeling. If I need a shoulder, if I am desperately calling out for help, I know where to turn, I know where to go… sometimes I can’t go where I WANT to go… but I know where i CAN go. I am damn near 40 years old… I have seen way more shit than anyone should EVER have to. I’ve overcome many, MANY obstacles in my life and I am here, and I am alive, and I have love and I love… so i will get through whatever comes my way… but I need to do it MY way. I don’t know many people in the world who can say they had half as many abuses and unfairs in their life, but I know that the life I led led me to be the person I am… I am there for others, I am as kind as I can be, as smart as I can be, as giving as I can be and as real as I need to be…. I’m a damn good person, not just in MY books, but also in the books of others in my life… so maybe… I’m doing it right…. It may not be right for anyone else on this planet, but I don’t think I’m doing half bad and I’m getting a little tired of people feeling that they can tell me what to do and how to do it.
I am here for you, I’d like to offer you a shoulder if you need one, and I understand SOMETIMES you need to just KNOW that someone heard you scream… I hear you… and you don’t have to qualify that for me, but don’t sit in judgment… you have no damn clue what I’m up against… because I don’t want your pity, I don’t want your advice…. I got this…. so I’ll be me, and you can be you, and we can simply accept that about each other. For each person in my life, you are special for a reason.. I may not turn to you every time something is going on, you may only know the GOOD in my life, and that’s A-OK, it’s called “Healthy boundaries”. some of you don’t even know your own significance in my life, but you are hear for a reason. I choose you to be in my life, and I am honored that you choose to allow me to be in yours. This life is yours, as mine is mine… and it’s your process.
So do what you gotta do. I will still love you, even if I disagree.
PS… this is not to ANYONE and yet, it is FOR everyone.